The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
