i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
