That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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