OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
