genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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