To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize