If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize