it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
