wat bout pragnant strippers??
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
