I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
