Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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