Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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