...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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