Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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