absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
