No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just want nice things and good sex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize