There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyone says I win the strip club
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
