eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
