the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
