WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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