this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im six kinds of drunk right now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
