btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize