remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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