I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
