No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
