Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
