Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
