Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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