Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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