Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
