i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
