I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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