i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
