just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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