Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
