u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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