Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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