You really coming over, don't trick.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize