Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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