I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
