By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
