What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize