he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
