she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
