Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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