Need sex. Gaining weight.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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