I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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