Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
COCAINE IS GR8
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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