He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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