so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
