my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
