I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
