Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
