Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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