We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
