Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
