dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
