Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
