the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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