How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize