He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
