Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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