She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
