awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
