1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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