1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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