okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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