So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
