'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
