I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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