FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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