Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just threw up on my dentist
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
